What the !%$?
I came across a reference to the Rob Schneider/Patrick Goldstein press feud and found this thorough treatment of it. Here's what it's about: Goldstein argued in print that Hollywood studios are too busy making bad TV show adaptations and sequels to lame comedies to make movies that are competitive for Oscars and cited Schneider's Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo as an example of the latter. Schneider responded with a full page ad in Variety (!) attacking Goldstein for 1) not winning any journalism awards; 2) not being famous; 3) being "Third-Rate, Unfunny [and] Pompous;" and 4) not being able to get along with celebrities.
As this story points out, Goldstein did win a journalism award about a year ago. Still, that doesn't make this episode any more absurd. The Defamer coverage suggests that Schneider's response was borne of a hotheaded, spontaneous impulse and if true that's pretty sad. I'm inclined to think that the most important part of Schneider's letter is the last part, providing the name and release date for his movie.
The sad thing about the "hotheaded impulse" explanation is not just that a celebrity would be so bent out of shape by an off-hand joke from a journalist. The substance of Schneider's "insults" is really disturbing. I suppose that if you're a celebrity, anyone who is not a celebrity is to that extent inferior. Still, there may very well be something to Schneider's claim that he would get along better with Goldstein's colleagues than Goldstein would with his. After all, Schneider's career appears to be built to a significant degree on being Adam Sandler's friend, so he must be a friendly guy. Heck, being friends with celebrities can be a great career, look at Colin Quinn.